Marching with the Penguins: Parenting with a Purpose
My daughter and I went to see Marching with the Penguins. she was a grad school student at the time and was home visiting for a few days. The movie was her idea and my treat- just before she returned to cambridge. I highly, highly recommend it; but be prepared to laugh, cry, pause, and,... hopefully reflect. Penguins raise the parenting bar- braving unbearable elements to protect, preserve and advance their new born -at all cost. The love, concern and cautious, skilled care they deomonstrate is no less than amzaing, humbling, awesome and inspiring. It's what I call Parenting with a purpose. Parenting with a pupose everyday day after day. What a critical lesson. To learn the art and skill of protecting, nuturing and enabling our young; providing for them the safe space they need to effectively develop the inner and outter strength, natural maturity, smarts, instinct and curiosity to at the very least equally survive, but ideally progressively prosper, both collectively and individually. Can we not as human beings take such a page from these beloved winged clad, web-footed creatures. To all the more nuture our little ones to be the best self they can be. To empower children all over the world to be personally, socially and spiritually responsible members of the human race. And, by example, pass on the inherent possibilities of a self actualized life experience. What a humane undertaking that would be. My Father Time
My father's gone. That's what they say. But at times it's not so real. You see, I hear him still, call my name; and his big brown eyes, awake and wide, when we stood there at his side, speaking this new language of nods; we talked of God, held hands, and laughed, about the good ole times; your fingers laced in mine; father time.
My Father's gone, that's what they say. And I know I never said it enough out loud, but I hope you know I was proud. Dad, I remember your smile. The one you always smiled, day after day, it was your way, of being strong for me,...you would be brave like that; your last selfless act; father time. Now, love isn't enough. I wish you peace. May the kind that knowing God only restores, 'til, we meet again, at least now you're finally free; father time.
A Mother's Worth . Mothers of the world, the once giggling little girls, now bringing the unborn to life. It's all God's life; it's all we are; and hers- the common uncommon thread we hold, no matter how young, or old; may we say something to someone today, some unforgettable something to someone today ;that remembers the gift, of a our mother's worth, the one we instinctively reached out to at birth; before we knew words, before we had dreams, before we had any thought of our own selfishness, we knew her breath, her careful stare, her selfless act of self; So it begins; in heaven and earth; this life, this time, for all your worth, I love you Mom..
Angel Eyes
Through our parents we learned about everything in life. Who we were and who we'd be able to become. They taught us about some things profoundly wonderful, perhaps, and some things not so. And as children, all the experiences that we integrate into our young minds and young bodies and young dreams, we take as real and carry with us through life. Their causality, good or bad, are linked directly to us; so we think. And so we embellish or impoverish our own idea of our self as we rightly or wrongly perceive the universe, and our role in it; that's what all children do. But, a child's perception of self and its revolving reality is not an objective one; the reasoning isn't ready. Yet, the adult is intrinsically shaped by the child. The beliefs we formed in our youth may seem buried, long forgotten or out of reach, but they are not. They are always self serving. Through years of discourse, verbal and non-verbal language, intentional or not, our parents taught us about life. And we formed many sorted beliefs about ourselves way back when, that can in many ways negatively reverberate in our lives today. What are your points of pain? Are any similar to those experienced during childhood.? What was that experience like? What did it feel like for you then, and now? What beliefs did you hold about yourself then, and now?
Some of the lessons lessons learned years ago may have been that marriages aren't harmonious and satisfying, or that children, or men, or women weren't valued, or that Moms or Dads are disconnected, or uncommitted partners or parents, or perhaps that money was inherently evil or scarce.
Eventually, our little perceptions simply adjusts to see our parents as having the ultimate truths, no matter how misguided or uninformed they may have or may not have been at the time. It's very much like an optical flip that occurs- the "right siding" of the upside down. Through lens of our parents, we eventually see and experience things in such a way that we always validate them, whether they are right or not. And so it is, a childhood illusion, things appearing to be what they are not. This becomes the pretext of who we are. Who we will become. And, very often the context that is passed on, unawares, to our children, and theirs. The cycle of self invalidation, though, is stoppable We now know that the power to re-choose is in us; the choice to re-see things the way we didn't see them before. Not matter where you are in the game, you can consciously, reconstruct, rewire and rewrite your beliefs; your biographical truths.
Redefining our life experiences means they can now be more than what they could have been; more than what they would have been; more than what we could have previously imagined possible. What you may not have realized is that difficulties are gifts. Gifts of contrast. The hidden gift of any problem is the chance for us to see its divine opposite; and the blessing, then, comes as we choose to do as Angels would. Any one that had a hurtful role in making you to see this subtle reality, in the end, will be forgiven, and to the same extent, freed, through you.
